Healing the Inner Teen

How Inner Parts Work Deepened My Understanding of Adolescence

Inner child healing has become a familiar concept in therapy and personal growth spaces. For me, this work began in 2022 during a major life transition, when a therapist introduced me to Internal Family Systems therapy and invited me to connect directly with different parts of myself.

That invitation changed everything.

Meeting My Inner Child Through Internal Family Systems Therapy

In one session, I was guided through a meditation and asked to meet my five year old self.

What appeared in my mind’s eye surprised me. Instead of a carefree child, I saw an emaciated, greasy, dirty little girl, banished to a dark, slimy dungeon. She looked neglected, alone, and forgotten.

This image was shocking because it did not match the external facts of my childhood. My basic needs for food, shelter, and clothing were met. From the outside, nothing looked obviously wrong. And yet, emotionally, this part of me felt utterly abandoned.

This was my first real understanding that emotional neglect does not always look dramatic or obvious. A child can be materially provided for and still feel profoundly alone.

What My Inner Child Needed to Heal

I began visiting this part of myself regularly. I asked what she was feeling, what she feared, what she needed, and what she wanted.

Over time, she warmed to me. She seemed relieved that someone was finally paying attention.

As months turned into years, the image shifted. In my mind’s eye, she became healthier and more vibrant. She moved out of the dungeon and into an ornate, castle-like space. She wore a gold dress, reminiscent of Belle from Beauty and the Beast.

Now, when I check in with my inner child, she is taking piano lessons. She dances. She makes art. She is surrounded by loving adults who delight in her growth.

Looking back, my inner child needed what young children universally need: reassurance, consistency, emotional containment, safety, and fun. She needed to know that someone would keep showing up.

Creative Healing as Inner Child and Inner Teen Work

Another way I have been healing both my inner child and my inner teen is through creative repair.

Over the past few years, I have been finishing drawings I started during adolescence. Some of these drawings now live in a very public place. The hero images on my teen therapy page and women’s therapy page are drawings I made when I was fifteen years old.

At the time, I did not have language for what I was expressing. Looking at them now, I can see so clearly what that teenage part of me was reaching for: vibrancy, boundaries, balance, and beauty.

There is something deeply healing about honoring adolescent self-expression rather than dismissing it as dramatic or immature. Completing these drawings, and allowing them to be seen, feels like a form of integration. I am letting that younger part of me know that her vision mattered, even if no one fully understood it at the time.

Drawings I created at age 15. Looking at them now, I see a clear longing for vibrancy, boundaries, balance, and beauty.

When Inner Child Work Was Not Enough: Meeting My Inner Teen

After a few years, I noticed another part of me asking for attention: my inner teen.

I approached this work similarly, using meditation and imagination. I pictured my fifteen year old self wearing jeans that were too tight, because fitting into a certain size felt essential. I saw her in my attic bedroom, the walls covered in painted swirls and the phrase:

“Drugs, sex and rock n roll, speed, weed, and birth control. Life’s a bitch and then you die, so fuck the world and let’s get high.”

She was overwhelmed, lost, and trying to cope. She found relief in alcohol while maintaining straight A’s in advanced classes. She hovered at the edge of an eating disorder. She serially dated, longing for someone to see how much pain she was in.

Her developing brain was not equipped to make sense of the cultural forces surrounding her. Patriarchy. Misogyny. Diet culture. White supremacy. She was told to be thin, likable, feminine, intelligent, and successful all at once, and blamed herself when it felt impossible.

Me as a teenager. Looking back now, I can see how much was being carried beneath the goofy surface.

How Inner Teen Healing Is Different From Inner Child Healing

One of the most important lessons I have learned is that inner teen work is fundamentally different from inner child work.

My inner teen did not need constant reassurance or management. She needed unconditional acceptance. She needed me to trust her emotions rather than minimize or fix them. She needed to know I believed her when something felt wrong.

This mirrors what we know about adolescent development. Parenting a teenager is different from parenting a young child. Teens still need safety and guidance, but they also need respect, autonomy, and emotional trust.

Why Healing My Inner Teen Changed How I Work With Adolescents

As I have been doing my own inner teen healing, I have found myself increasingly drawn to working with teenagers. I have begun specializing in work with teens, and I find it deeply meaningful and fulfilling.

The connection feels clear.

Teenagers are often treated like adults simply because their bodies appear mature. Their emotions are dismissed as dramatic. Their confusion is labeled defiance. Their pain is minimized because they are expected to know better.

But adolescents are not adults.

Their brains are still developing. Their identities are still forming. They are navigating an overwhelming world with limited protection and unrealistic expectations.

Healing my inner teen has deepened my compassion, not only for myself, but for the teenagers I work with every week. It has reinforced my belief that teens do not need to be fixed. They need to be understood, respected, and met with steady presence.

Integrating Inner Child and Inner Teen Work

Inner child healing taught me how to offer comfort, safety, and care. Inner teen healing is teaching me how to offer trust, respect, and unconditional acceptance.

Both forms of inner parts work are essential. Both deepen self-understanding. And both remind us that healing does not come from getting it right, but from finally listening to the parts of ourselves that were never fully seen.